I have to admit the whole social life concept is an interesting thing for me. I was outgoing as a little kid, shy and reserved as a school kid, pretty reclusive and reserved as an adult. Until the last 5 years or so, I only had friends from work. I never went anywhere to make new ones.
Between dog stuff and weight loss surgery, I have found a fantastic crew of friends, both in real life and on the net. I'm really pleased with this and even if I never lost another pound from my Lap-Band, I will already be grateful for the gift of friendship I have received just by getting it. The people I have met on my journey are, of course, funny and many are very creative people. That's super important because they are helping me get on track and in touch with my own creativity. Something that fell by the wayside while hiding from the world behind my protective layer of fat.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I may not be the most socially adept person on the planet. But I'm learning and growing.
Last night was our super-fun WLS support group meeting. A married couple, Missy and Kenny, run the show. The thing I love about this group is the people. Everyone in the group has a great sense of humor and we spend a lot of time laughing. Helps to make up for a lifetime of pain experienced in our old skin. We've got a core group of about 6 people that routinely attend, with a smattering of new attendees each month.
A new person came last night. She was nice, was pretty far out from her surgery and had already had plastics, so we were able to ask her questions about her journey.
The M&K Experience added an addendum to the support group protocol and when it got to be Lights Out Time in the clinic (we've had the lights turned out on us multiple times! You people wrap it up and get out of there. I thought the first time was a riot--all the housekeeping staff lined both sides of the hall between the conference room and the exit. I really wanted to do a Soul Train dance down the aisle, but that would have sealed my fate as a Complete And Utter Dork, so I didn't. Just because I can doesn't mean I should), we would transition the group from the clinic to a nearby restaurant.
The new gal joined us.
Have you ever run across one of those people so desperate to fit in that they try too hard? Even waaaay too hard? Yeah. That's the vibe I got. At work when I run into this, I just nod, smile and do not encourage chit-chat. That just makes 'em get more talkative. So I pull back, look busy and try to disentangle myself as soon as I can.
Missy had made some gumbo and had a bowl for me in her car. After we adjourned, I followed Missy to her car to get the broth. She turned to her husband and said, "I think we've found someone who makes Denise look CALM by comparison!" And then we all fell over laughing!
The woman, like I said, was really nice. I just think she was trying too hard. Yeah. I just met you two hours ago and I really don't need to know that your nipples are pierced and that you really like being on top now that you've lost weight. Or that pole dancing is good exercise. Things to save for the second date, perhaps?
Showing me your dog pictures on your camera phone is fine, but showing me EVERY picture is a bit much. Then tossing that in your bag and whipping out your camera to show us MORE pictures . . . faux pas! Even I know that, and I'm a camera/picture whore and have about 8 million pictures of my dogs with me at all times.
Needless to say, I was stunned to silence for a good portion of dinner. Wow. Someone chattier than me????
Here's my favorite part . . .
New Gal: I was married in December. Got divorced in October. Wanna know how I met my husband?
Missy, expectant look on her face thinks: Wait for it . . . wait for it . . .
New Gal: I'm a gamer!
Missy, inside her head: BINGO!
One of the women on R&R has in her signature line, watch what you say--you might end up in my novel. Yup. I totally know what she means.
I'm glad she liked the group and felt comfortable enough to join us for dinner. But here are a few pointers for the socially inept from the still kinda socially inept.
- Get a feel for the group and the people before you divulge the most intimate secrets of your sex life
- Listen, listen, listen (learn/know your audience)
- If people give you cocked head, perplexing looks, perhaps you should back off some
I'm blaming her TMI conversation on nervousness and the need to fit in. Hopefully she'll be a bit more relaxed if she comes to the next session. Disclaimer--I'm all over TMI, if I know you. Pretty much no topic is off limits. Poop is funny.
However, I would not appreciate being approached by a total stranger at Wal-Mart who says, "Hi! Nice to meet ya! I like anal!"
I'm just sayin'.
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