Monday, August 31, 2009

I'm exhausted!

But the exhaustion is well earned.

I have spent the past three days working in the house, especially on getting the dog room converted into the dog room.  It had been my exercise room, initially, but after I dragged my elliptical to my bedroom, it became a junk room.  I'm sick and tired of the clutter and the stress clutter brings, so I decided to get off my duff and do what I've been talking about doing for ages.

Here's what the room looked like initially:

Yeah, one phone call away from ending up on Hoarders on A&E (oooh, new episode tonight, too!).  Here's another angle:

I started clearing out garbage on Saturday and made decent progress on Sunday.  By the end of the day yesterday, I was down to a pile of dog stuff and a pile of relocated kitchen stuff.  All the paint, tools, etc., went to their homes out in the garage.

In a fit of inspiration while walking through Target, I realized that one of those cube type holders would be a great thing.  When I was sorting through the dog stuff, I was like, I have a bunch of different collars, a bunch of training stuff, etc.  Seeing those bins, a light bulb went off. A bin for collars and leashes, a bin for training supplies, a bin for grooming supplies, a bin for treats, etc.  PERFECT!

So I got that, assembled it and then, because I found some in the garage, put it on casters.    Now I can roll it around (it's not the sturdiest structure on the planet) to sweep behind it to get at the inevitable floating piles of fur.  And it's off the floor, so if Jack happens to hike on it, it won't be soaking in urine.   He'd better not, though.

Here's what we have now:

And a view of the corner . . . that table will go upstairs (I just didn't have the energy to drag it there myself) and my grooming table will go there.  I have a cabinet in the garage I plan to paint black and will put that under the painting on the left, to get more stuff out of sight.

Here's a view of the far wall:

And a view of the cube shelf and crate.  

I met my goal of having it done enough to put Millie in it when I go to work tomorrow.   Her massive 4' x 4' x-pen is out of the living room. She has a big sized crate to sleep in at night, and a whole room to goof off in during the day, where she cannot see Map and get angry about it.

This weekend is Labor Day weekend and is gloriously free!  No plans at all!  So the next step for this room is to paint it (already have paint and all the supplies in the garage) and then to rip up the carpet, seal the concrete slab beneath it, then put down stick 'n peel tiles.  

Once that's done, I can move in the grooming table and my living room will look mostly like a living room!  GO FIGURE!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

While we're on the topic of toilets...


I affectionately refer to myself as the worst husband in the world. Yeah, first off I don't have a penis and second, I'm not married.  But I act like a lazy husband on the weekends, skillfully ignoring my honey-do list by goofing off or sleeping.

My toilet has been leaking somewhere in the system for months.  I get annoyed with the noise of the trickling when doing my middle of the night bathroom runs.  I was good and finally got around to buying the toilet repair kit a month or more ago.  Whoopie!  Progress!

Since I am taking a 3 day weekend, I have determined I must do something productive and I thought a few of my honey-do tasks would fit the bill.  So far, I've done toenails and brushed out Tuesday and Jack,  I've disassembled Millie's giant cage and replaced that with a normal crate.  I've washed all the dog stuff (crate pads, etc) and swept fur up out of half the house.

Finally I decided I must deal with this damned toilet.  I was getting tired of moving the box from one flat surface to the next, gradually working my way toward the bathroom.  By the time I got it onto the countertop by the toilet, I figured why not?

I hoped it was just the flapper, so I did that first.  What?  What's that sound?  Trickling water?  As my pal Debra says, "Toilet flapper, you can KISS MY ASS!"  Well, actually it wasn't the flapper.  It was the other toilet innard bits.  Sigh.

I need to start an at home business:  interpreting lamely written instruction guides and converting them into something that makes frickin' sense.  I love troubleshooting experiments at work and then writing protocols.  Except that I don't do that any more.  So here's a new niche.

I think there is some great conspiracy to piss innocent homeowners off by making these things completely illogical!  As I went through the instructions, I kept saying--oh, if I were writing this, I'd phrase it this way.  Instruction guide interpreter.  I like that.

Between trying to interpret these lame-o instructions, contorting to get behind the toilet, bruising knuckles and aggravating my fibromyalgia trying to unscrew plastic bolts, I came up with some rather inventive new curse words.  I also spent an inordinate amount of time wandering the house looking for tools.  I thought I was doing well with my Homer Bucket in a pocket riddled skirt.  But not as good as I thought I was!  I'd sell my left nut for a wrench!  If I had one.

It took me a few hours and only one Oh Shiny with Farkle on FaceBook before getting it done.  So far (knock on wood), I don't have any leaks and DEAR DIARY, the damned thing is actually quiet once the tank is full.  By the grace of God, I did not have to remove the tank from the bowl and replace the tube that shuttles water into the bowl.  Whew.

I'm sure that I'll be awoken to a massive geyser of toilet water at about 3 am, but for now I am pleased that the job is done.

Now if I only had a German turd shelf!  Next project, maybe!  

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

German Shelf Toilet

I miss Jane. She's from England and has gone home for a visit with her family for two weeks.

This is how my brain works: I happened to think of Jane en route to the bathroom. Jane is from England. She watches You Are What You Eat on BBC America. I saw a few new episodes of the show over the weekend. Apparently the show has changed format. Instead of Gillian going to the peoples' homes, she makes them come spend a few weeks with her.

And instead of having them crap in a tupperware container, she now has a fancy German Shelf Toilet, which apparently alleviates the need to put shitty plastics in her dishwasher. Ick!

The episode I saw had her chasing a vicar around. Apparently he was quite constipated and never left a deposit on her fancy German toilet's shelf. The shelf allows her to get in and do her nice, close up inspections of her clients' poo. I'm betting she prods it, too. I would like to think she does it with a stick, but I'm betting she uses a gloved finger.

I may be preoccupied at times with my output, but at least I don't kneel loo-side, talk to it and inspect its content. And this gal has a TV SHOW!!!!

Wow. Brits, and the occasional Scottish dietician, are funny.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Hysterically Funny Animation

I was goofing off on the internets yesterday (shocker!), reading up on Big Brother.  It was Thursday--eviction day--and I wanted to know if anyone had snapped in the house since Tuesday.  

Linking my way across the internet, I found a YouTube page for KCS Cougar:  someone or some entity that spoofs reality shows with short, animated clips.  I initially found a segment on Big Brother, but found that the others were equally hilarious.  If you watch shows like The Real Housewives of NYC or NJ, NYC Prep, etc., you will LOVE this site! There's even a spoof of Lost and an Indiana Jones movie, with Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg and George Lucas discussing options for a scene.  Too frickin' funny.

Be forewarned--the f'bomb content is quite high (sounds kinda like my potty mouth at Friday lunch!), but holy crap, is it funny.  Here's the riotously funny clip of the Real Housewives of New Jersey--if you saw the show, be prepared to pee your pants!  Yeast infected Jersey Shore oyster!  Baaahahahahaha!

Millie's Mafia Cherry: Popped!

Today Millie learned to jump the edging/fencing to get into the jungle mayhem that is my raised bed.  Where the bunnies live. Despite Jack having been in there rooting around the morning, he missed a bunny.

Millie found it.

Jack and I were in the kitchen, brewing coffee when we heard the unmistakeable SCREEE! SCREEE!  SCREEE!  that is a bunny's shriek upon finding itself in the jaws of a corgi.  But wait--Jack's with me. Millie?!?

So she is officially now a card carrying member of the corgi mafia. Jack ended up disposing of the body (that's his official job), but Millie caught it and did the damage.

Now she's happily frolicking in the freshly filled water bowl.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  Damn dogs!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Reason I should be more organized

This morning, I was flipping through a massive pile of random papers looking for something. I found an envelope from my mortgage company. Impulsively, I opened the envelope and do you know what I found?

A check for $745. That expired 2 months ago.

Seriously. I cannot believe how disorganized I am! Of course now I know why my mortgage payment dropped $130 a month back in June (yeah, never got around to asking why that was). The check was for over funding of my escrow account. If I didn't cash the check in the alloted time, it would go back to my account. So between that and adjusting my escrow contributions each month, I got a nice discount on my monthly mortgage.

Honestly, I'm glad I didn't find the check because odds are I'd have blown the money. Dog stuff. Going to shows. Going to Nationals. Buying shiny gadgets or a bicycle! Instead of doing something productive like paying bills, buying the new dryer I had to charge, or God forbid I could get new tires and a brake job for my car.

In this instance, all's well that ends well. But I'm still irked at myself. Plus, I still have to find that stupid medical bill I was looking for.

Someday. Someday I will get better organized. If I don't die trying.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Sounds can be irritating

Long time, no chat. I've been very distracted lately and not made time to blog. I'm trying to get into the swing of things again.

I decided it's time for a whiny commentary: there is someone in the lab in the adjacent hallway that is making noise that sets my teeth on edge. It sounds like someone with a butter knife, trying to get the last of the mayonnaise out of the jar. Irregular clattering. Very loud and glassy sounding.

I'm very happy to be leaving in about 15 minutes to head to the gym, where there are no mayonnaise jars. Yippeee!