Saturday, June 27, 2009

My Michael Jackson Moment

I'm still surprised and saddened by the death of Michael Jackson on Thursday.  I feel for his family and children but hope that he is at least free now of the lifelong issues brought on by the pressure of finding fame at such a young age and not having the childhood he craved.  He definitely paid a high price for sharing his gifts with us all.

It goes without say what an influential performer he was.  In the days after his death, the tributes abound and it seems practically everyone has a Michael Jackson story. I used to play some of the Jackson 5 songs when I was a DJ back in the 90s.  And I'm pretty sure Aunt Cathy and her son Michael got to see him in concert in the 80s.  But my real Jackson story is more substantial than that.  At least to me.

As a kid, we were sent back and forth during the summers from our home in Tennessee to my grandmother's house in Connecticut.  I suffered from horrible anxiety growing up and flying didn't help any. My runaway imagination envisioned every flight ending in a fiery explosion.  After a horrific 30,000 foot plunge that went in slow motion, of course.  

After years of therapy and better living through pharmacology, I love flying.  It signifies adventure and excitement.  And seriously, the odds of crashing are quite slim (though try and tell that to the recent Air France plane crash victims). As a kid, though, I think I would have rather walked to Connecticut than flown.

In summer of 1983, we went on another trip to see Grandma.  I was 15.  I can't remember if we were coming or going, but we were between Philly and Hartford and the weather was awful.  If you have a fear of flying on a clear day, add a lightning storm to the mix and then see how you feel!  I made my brother shut the window shade so I couldn't see the lightning, striking dangerously close to the wing.  My eyes were clenched shut, my hands were white-knuckle clutching the arm rests.  And the song Thriller was playing through my head over and over again.

I don't know why I found it soothing--maybe because it was a song like nothing else I'd ever heard.  Or I could see the video playing in my head and that was able to distract me for the storm.  I don't remember the details.  But I do remember that song by Michael Jackson kept me from flipping out completely, and running up and down the aisles, shrieking in fear.  I've never forgotten that flight and how that song got me through it.

God bless you, Michael Jackson, may you rest in peace.

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